NEW YEAR, NEW ME?

Hey Guys!

Hope you're all well!

This is going to be quite different to any of my previous posts as its centered around health and fitness!
As I am currently on a new health journey I figured why not take you guys along for the ride?

Disclaimer: (I am not a health and fitness expert, I am simply sharing my personal experience) 
My fitness journey isn't a weight loss journey, its more of a lifestyle change. I have never been extremely out of shape but noticed I felt less energetic and more unfit than I used to and didn't feel my body was at its absolute best so I simply decided to do something about it. I don't personally believe in temporary crash diets because they don't implement permanent change. People can often relapse and end up worse than before as a result of depriving themselves of something for so long. Therefore I am more focused on actual lifestyle change which means changing your diet and workout plan to suit your specific body goals.


MYTH: If you're slim and slender or not clinically overweight, you don't need to work out or change your diet.
REALITY: A person may be extremely skinny due to excessive drug use for example, but because that's not plastered on their forehead its easy for others to just assume they are slim so they are therefore fit.Equally someone may appear to be bigger than another individual but may actually be much more fit and in better shape. Regardless of shape or size Health and fitness is important for everyone (and FYI the older you get the harder it is to loose weight)

One thing many women hate is feeling 'sluggish' doing day to day activities or having to compromise or adjust what they wear simply because they do not feel comfortable in their body.
But in life we always have a choice:
A phrase I made for myself to keep me motivated in most areas of my life is-
'You can either let your situation define you, or you can re-define your situation'

The longer you complain about all the things you dislike about your physique, the longer nothing gets done to fix or improve it. 

You cant demand a husband with a 6 pack of steel when the existence of your own one is far from real! Theres no point complaining about having a huge belly when you haven't even had any kids yet, if you are not going to do something about it. 

I am a huge believer in constant self improvement in every area of my life, so when my fitness became one of those areas, I decided it was time to put in the work to make it better!
Making a lifestyle change isn't always an easy decision, but it's 1000% a very rewarding one.
Not only does it make you a better, healthy and happier person, but it also teaches you essential life skills such as self discipline, self control and perseverance.

Here are my Top 5 Tips for Successful Lifestyle Change....


1. IDENTIFY YOUR WEAK SPOTS and ESTABLISH YOUR BODY GOAL/S

Do you not realise that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself,for God bought you with a high price. So you must honour God with your body.
- 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

(NOTE: It is important to identify the areas of your body where you naturally gain and loose weight. This may be as a result of genetic disposition, diet or simply because you target your workouts to certain areas more than others)

Making a lifestyle change is impossible if you don't know what you actually want to change. In order for your journey to be effective, write down exactly what the problem areas of your body are that you would like to change or improve

e.g. Do you want to gain or loose weight? Is one specific area your biggest issue? Do you just want to tone up?

Here are some examples below:

2. DIET

'So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.'
-1 Corinthians 10:31


Any health and fitness expert or website will tell you that in order to make long term effective change to your body Diet accounts for 80% of that journey. There is no point working out 4 days a week if in between those workouts you are still scoffing your face with McDonalds and KFC.


Depending on your personal body goal, you need to ensure your diet is in conjunction with that plan.
You can google diet plans for your specific body goal and find out what foods you need to have more of and what foods you should have less frequently or on cheat days.

Regardless of the journey you're on, most diets will inform you that protein, fruit and vegetables are essential for a healthy lifestyle.
For someone like me who doesn't really like sweets, chocolate or crisps, this actually works in my favour because I actually really love my fruits,smoothies, protein shakes, veg, oats, granola bars, salmon etc, I always have. But, if you're not into eating broccoli on the regular, then experiment with ways you can incorporate these foods into your diet. 
Certain recipes, seasonings and food combinations can make something you thought was too 'green' or had no flavour taste amazing! 
Health expert suggest having 3 meals a day with 2 smaller meals or snacks in between =
5 MEALS A DAY
Food is one those areas where your options are actually limitless! There's always a new recipe or formula that you can try! You just have to find what works for you. It can also be fun to incorporate culture into your diet- find out what foods within your culture or another culture are not only good to your taste buds, but also good for you!


MY TOP TIPS:

MEAL PREP: Personally, meal prep has become a huge and fundamental factor in helping me stay on target. As a university student, finding time to cook 3 meals a day can be difficult with hours and hours of lectures and library sessions, holding down a job and extra curricular or social activities, so planning in advance helps to combat that.  Each weekend, I make a rough idea of some of the meals I would like to have for that week, and will make sure I have bought all of the necessary ingredients, therefore I can make some of the meals in advance ready for the week. Realistically, due to my schedule I can't prepare every single meal in advance but having certain things pre-made such as little fruit bowls or healthy snacks to take with me during the day, pre-cooked stew, pasta sauce, chicken or fish that can be preserved for a few days etc, makes day to day meal planning so much easier!
videos on how to meal prep here and here

videos on breakfast ideas here
and here

PORTION CONTROL: This has also been a game changer for me. As a 'foodie' who loves to cook, my friends will tell you that I have a habit of cleaning my plate- so much so that you would think there was never even food in it (as in every grain of rice must be gone lol). While this may be a good habit to have, coupled with oversized portions, this can quickly become a problem. Though I've never been overweight, my portions sizes were a bit over the top sometimes but since I always wanted to ensure my plate was clean I admittedly would sometimes finish it off even if I was already full.
Doing research into healthy eating is how I stumbled across the concept of portion control. Multiple sources stated that it is better for your health and metabolism to have 5 reasonably sized meals (3 main meals and 2- snacks/lighter meals in between) than 3 huge meals a day. So essentially, that is what I now do. I make sure I always have breakfast now and if I don't want to have one huge meal for example, I may split a meal in half so I have it in two smaller portions during the day. It really has helped and prevents me having that 'slumped' feeling after every meal while still ensuring that I'm still satisfied and don't get hungry.

3. SET A WORKOUT REGIMEN

'Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit.' 
-3 John 1:2

Ok so you decide you want to go to the gym so you get dressed and go. But you get there and realise you have no idea what to do or how to start. So you go on the treadmill for two minutes, do a few stretches then go home- That is not a thorough workout that is really going to implement any real longterm change.

Once you know the target areas you want to work on, do your research into exactly how to combat them. This will help you structure your workouts. 



If you don't feel comfortable going to a public gym or want to be able to work out from home, check out Fitness Blender on Youtube here -they have great step by step workouts for every area of your body! I know so many people who have seen results from using their workouts so why not give it a shot!






Make sure you:
- Allocate specific days to focus on specific areas of the body e.g. Wednesday = Abs Day
- Give yourself rest days to allow your muscles to recuperate
- Keep hydrated during your workouts
- Your diet co-ordinates with your workouts



Check out this video from one of my favourite Youtubers as she shares her Fitness and Diet routine! 

If you lack motivation on your own or would like to do partner exercises or routines, try and find a personal trainer or like minded people with similar body goals and start going together. I mentioned my body goals to a few friends of mine and found out they had similar goals to myself. Therefore I decided to set up a group which now consists of 4 of us- (Shoutout Roxanne, Shekinah and Eunice x) meaning everyone has an accountability partner to ensure we not only get up and go to the gym, but we motivate and encourage each other during our workouts as well as share videos, meals and workout ideas with one another. So far, I am loving it and I'm really glad that I decided to turn this it into a group. It hasn't been easy by any means! and the pain can sometimes be veryyy real (if only you could see the struggle to sit down and get up at work yesterday as a result of leg day pain lol) but we know it is worth it and it is rewarding to see progress!


4. TRACK YOUR PROGRESS

And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice--the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him.
-Romans 12:1

Whether it be photos, videos, diary entries, calorie counting, monitoring your diet or simply weighing yourself every fortnight, tracking your progress will help you identify the areas where you have improved, and the areas where you need more work.







5. PERSEVERANCE AND CONSISTENCY #DO NOT QUIT!

I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
-Philippians 4:13

The two hardest parts about lifestyle change are: 
1.Starting 
2.Being Consistent

Many woman know they need to make a change but are either too lazy, too disheartened by their current state, or too afraid to start. But this goes back to my saying
'You can either let your situation define you, or you can re-define your situation'

Why prolong something that is nothing but good for you?

The first day you may be super pumped up to go to the gym or try your new meal plan but it is super easy to get side tracked. Keep the end goal in mind even if it means putting a goal picture on your phone or wall, having a friend or trainer check up on you, watching motivational fitness or diet videos, or literally writing down of all the benefits of your decision. This is where tracking your progress can also help as seeing how far you have come will encourage you to keep going.



I hope you enjoyed and were encouraged by my tips! As I said, I am no expert,  but I simply wanted to share some of the things that I am learning as a work in progress myself to encourage others! Feel free to contact me if you would like any further information ! x

KEY INGREDIENTS FOR SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIPS

In our social media generation and with the boom in engagements and marriages, we are constantly being bombarded with pictures with titles such as #RelationshipGoals. It is easy to get sucked into the hype when your timeline is filled with engagement photo shoots and #MCM proclamations that make you start to question when 'your time' will come. But, there is no point daydreaming about when you will get there if you haven't figured out how to get there. It's easy to say you're 'looking for love', but you need to be real with yourself and ask yourself if you are even emotionally ready for it. Don't overlook the work you need to do within yourself because you're so caught up on what you think you want or need in somebody else. The fact is, you shouldn't be looking for love in the first place. Once you know Christ, then you have already found it! (1 John 4:8). When the bible says 'Seek ye first the kingdom of God and ALL other things shall be added' (Matt 6:33) Love was not excluded from that! Having said that, relationships are truly a beautiful thing but they do require work.


We need to consider that it's one thing to get into a relationship and it's another thing to sustain it. In other words:

                                     

Here are just a few of those ingredients...

1. KEEP GOD FIRST.

This will always be the most important and fundamental tool for any truly successful relationship. We are beyond fortunate to have a Father that has provided us with the ultimate Relationship Survival Guides via The Bible, Prayer, The Holy Spirit and Mentors we can be accountable to. Handling anything solely by our own strength no matter how strong we think we are, will eventually lead to destruction. God on the other hand, hasn't and will never fail and will therefore lighten any loads you cannot carry and guide you as individuals and as a team in times of hardship.
The maintenance of walking in purpose and its fulfilment depends on the strength and consistency of the partnership between you and God. If you do not have a solid and consistent love and relationship with God first, it is so easy for your partner to become your God without you even realising it. Why? Because you spend so much time with them, you care about them, their words can effect you, their mood can influence yours. However all those things should be experienced first through your relationship with Christ. You should spend a lot of time with Him, care about and love Him, the words He has declared over your life should be what effects you, His word should influence your moods. Nobody has got you like He does. The more you individually as well as collectively seek God and root your relationship (both the good and bad aspects) in His will, the more it will grow and blossom into a positive, purposeful and productive union. The moment you allow cracks in your relationship to be filled by anything but Him, the wider you leave the door open for disaster and destruction of every and any form to enter.

As cheesy as it may sound, I view Christ as the ultimate navigation system. He knows our end destination, He knows the best route for us to get there, and will provide us with warnings of any danger or obstacles we may encounter on the way- it's up to us to follow Him and trust in His direction. And if at any point you get lost or turn off course just press reroute, go back to the source and He will redirect you to where you should be going.

video on keeping God first:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eh-okYm7pZM 

2. COMMUNICATION IS ESSENTIAL.

One of the biggest mistakes we make in relationships is expecting our partner to just automatically know how we are feeling or know the effect their actions have on us.
Unless the two of you were brought up under the same rules, raised by the same parents with the same principles and had witnessed every life experience together from birth, there will always be something to learn from or about your partner.
If you feel upset about something, giving your partner the cold shoulder with no explanation does not benefit your relationship.
Furthermore knowing your partners love languages will really help you to figure out the best way to communicate with them. Whilst for some, words of affirmation are an extremely important need, for others acts of service may be far more important. Depending on what your partner responds to best you need to be discerning of how you approach them. The more you communicate, the stronger your unit will become and the deeper your understanding on one another will be

Particularly in the case of arguments, effective and more importantly constructive communication is what can ultimately affect the outcome of the issue.

Lets put this into a scenario for example:

                                                                  THE PROBLEM:

RESPONSE 1

                                                                         RESPONSE 2

                                                                    RESPONSE 3

As cliche and cheesy as this scenario may seem, the key thing to take away from it is that APPROACH IS KEY. We can't always control our partners' attitude or behaviour but WE CAN control our own. I always say 'Fighting fire with fire often results in someone getting burnt. Tackling fire with water, suppresses it and eventually cools it down.' In saying that I mean sometimes in relationships, we have to rise above our temporary feelings of anger, frustration or hurt, and focus on the greater good. This does not mean ignore any issues you may have and pretend everything is fine. Instead it means be wise about HOW you deal with those issues. Even if you may have initially been completely in the right, that doesn't give you license to go crazy and start attacking someone you supposedly love. If you're yelling or insulting your partner out of anger, do you really think they are going to hear or even be able to pick out your actual point in the midst of all the yelling and insults? Chances are, they are more likely to yell right back meaning you are now both offended and both too hyped up to actually hear each others points.

Even if your partner is 'in their feelings' and is approaching the situation in a negative way, you still have a choice to either retaliate or calm the situation down through your actions and gear it towards an adult discussion and create more mature environment in which both parties points can be heard and addressed.

3.SPEAK WITH LOVE

The approach and energy you put towards a conversation can ultimately effect its outcome (as shown in the previous example). When you love someone, the reality is, the words and action they present to you can effect how you feel. As a partner, you should want to be a source of joy, strength and love for your other half, and be the first person to defend them if ever someone tried to hurt them in any way. Therefore you should not turn around and be the source of their sorrow. In every situation speak with love. Speak to your partner in a way that reminds them that you are confirmation of how much God loves them, even in their mistakes. 

It is so easy when you are angry or feel misunderstood to say hurtful things that you know you don't mean, but that doesn't mean they don't hurt or leave scars. Even in the midst of your anger try to remember the greater good which is your love and the purpose of your union. For example, if you know your partner is sensitive to what they hear, if you have an issue with them, ensure your words are constructive and coming from a place of love,as opposed to offensive and destructive coming from a place of resentment and spite. No couple that genuinely loves each other actually enjoys arguing with their partner. Deep down you both just want to get back to being happy so try and ensure your individual actions are leading the situation in that direction. 

4. HONESTY AND  TRUST 

Trust brings both freedom and security to a relationship. Having full trust in someone makes you feel fully comfortable to share yourselves via your thoughts, feelings, fears, issues and everything that makes you happy. When you can see that your partner has entrusted their thoughts and deeds to Gods will, and you can actively see that they are striving daily to be obedient to it, it makes it much easier to trust them.
To agree to spend the rest of your life with someone, you 100% need to trust them! How uncomfortable would it be to be living everyday suppressing your feelings or suspecting negative things, all because trust has been broken or was never fully there in the first place?
Foundation is everything! Start with the tools you intend to carry to the finish line so they will only get better with time! If you happen to be courting someone who has had their trust broken before, you also need to be sensitive to that, and ask God for wisdom and discernment as to how to establish trust in your union in practice as well as in theory.

5. BE YOURSELF 

This is absolutely key if you want to maintain a healthy, long lasting relationship. The worst thing to do is to have a partner you got through a false pretence.
When you are married there is no room for hiding. Your partner will see you in every format and setting both physically and emotionally, and ultimately he will never really love you for you is he doesn't even know who you truly are!
I always give this scenario to my friends whenever we have discussions about being yourself within marriage: If makeup becomes the security blanket you think played a fundamental role in getting your husband, you are already creating an environment that will make it difficult for you to be truly yourself. Realistically, you are not going to be able to wake up at 5am everyday before he wakes up, run to the bathroom to put on a full face of makeup then jump back to bed talking about 'I Woke Up Like This'.  It's just not realistic and it says more about what you think of yourself than it does about what he thinks about you. It will feel a million times better to know that someone loves you for exactly who you are as opposed to the person you have created for them to believe you are.
For ladies, being yourself applies to both your physical and internal characteristics. 

For example, let's say your partner spontanteously says he's taking you to dinner. Because this is a suprise you havent had time to plan an outfit or get your hair done etc. Now, you know for you to get your 'fleek on' it will take you at least 1 hour to get ready. You need to make sure your brows are on fleek, your face is beat and you contour brings out those cheekbones. But, you're frantically panicking because he's never seen you without all those things and you're conscious you won't be ready in time. Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to look great but you have to remind yourself that you did not come out of the womb with eyeshadow and lashes and hair extensions on. Make sure you still love you, not just what makeup can do! When you're married you will be living under the same roof, so  at some point, your husband is going to witness those 1-2 hours you spend getting ready. You need to be comfortable with him seeing the before as well as the after. 

Equally, if you can feel yourself changing or hiding you character just to impress or keep a man, you wont be able to keep up the facade forever. Most of the time if someone really cares about you they will see or sense when you're not being yourself. If you're not willing to be open about your flaws, they will manifest themselves in some area of your relationship so the sooner you are open and honest about who you are, the early you can discern what you can do to be even better.

6. SUPPORT
Be your spouses number one fan! God has a purpose for your union but He still assigned you an individual purpose too. Support and encourage each other in your careers and personal goals.
Prayer is also SUPER important. Prayer is one of the most intimate ways you can connect with God and each other. Praying with and for one another covers your relationship in the strongest foundation, and prevents any outside or negative influences from getting involved and tampering with something God intended for greatness.

Use your love languages:

This means learning the right things to say as well as the wrong. Generally from spending time with your partner you will be able to determine what love languages are most important to them. You will be able to decipher what triggers make them happy and what makes them sad. Certain behaviours will make them feel incredibly loved, so explore those and find creative ways to implement them into your relationship. 

7.BE WILLING TO LISTEN AND LEARN

Relationships are the one of the biggest teachers in life. Being with someone for such a large portion of your life, it is inevitable that through the relationships some of your flaws or underlying issues will be flagged up. Whether it be an issue you have never fully dealt with, a bad habit or a physical problem, always be willing to listen and learn and become better with each new lesson. The right partner will always have your best interests at heart but stubbornness or being stuck in feelings of embarrassment, pride or shame can prevent you from seeing that, which in turn hinders you from being better.

8. SELFLESSNESS 

When you get married you are committing to the idea that you constantly give up little pieces of your pride, ego and selfishness with each new lesson. While it is still important to have 'me time' when you are married, the nature of this union means you are one in the same with your partner. Therefore you shouldn't make unwise or selfish choices as they will inevitably effect your partner and your family. In your decision making, be wise and consider how your choices will effect your partner and this will help you determine if it is even worth it. 

9.KEEP IT FRESH

Life can be quickly become an overwhelming and monotonous cycle of working, paying bills, keeping up the house, and trying to make room for time to sleep. This can mean having time for one another or keeping the relationship 'fun' can become much more challenging. Keeping it fresh sometimes means working against routine. Dinner and a movie are not the only ways to have a date. Spontaneity can keep things exciting and creative, and establish beautiful and unique memories! Every couple has different love languages and activities that make them happy and strengthen their bond so explore those. Why not practice Random Acts of Kindness as opposed to doing things at predictable occasions. Try both indoor and outdoor date nights, group dates, bible study or game nights with other couples, Holidays, spa days, bond over a mutual passion e.g. if it's music, go to a concert together, study a book together, Build something together, do an outdoor activity together, go to a new destination together, try something for the first time together, document your journey etc. There are limitless ways to keep things fresh and fun ! 

10. TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAMWORK

Relationships require daily work and two parties that are willing to consistently put in the work for the greater good.
No seed develops into a flower without adding nutrients, but furthermore a flower that only has sun will eventually die just as easy as a flower that only has water will. Both parties are necessary for growth. The same principle applies to marriage.
It cannot run on autopilot, but takes a willing spirit and continual effort to make a relationships continue to grow and flourish. Consult each other in decision making and protect your union with joint prayer and counsel from God first and foremost not outsiders.

                                
Though these are not all the key ingredients for a successful relationships, these are just a few that could help or add to the knowledge you already have.

Whether you learnt something new or were reminded of something you had forgotten I hope you were encouraged! x

Check out some of these videos sharing relationship advice:


DEVON FRANKLIN AND MEAGAN GOOD FRANKLIN

Finding True Love https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gR6QswzYPcQ

How I found my husband https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDnoF_O_3Jo


Purchase their new book 'The Wait' HERE 

TOURE ROBERTS AND SARAH JAKES ROBERTS
How they met and tools for a successful relationship
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13MXWH8RiFo

               5 Keys to identifying your soulmate
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJutjZ5mm9E 

MYLES AND RUTH MONROE

Principles of Male and Female Relationships
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xP5emoA7xpM


Laws of Love and Marriage
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6A8l3OQyEsg


Kingdom Culture of Relationships (skip to 24.25)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GIIQ5SfwMYQ


ALDUAN AND MECCA TARTT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wjnx2IvQKjs